Zero Fours

In today's accelerated vulnerability discovery landscape, security teams are staggering under legacy assumptions like “probably private keys aren’t four.” At Zero Fours we believe in the importance of closing the barn door after the cows have already left. We supply industry-leading, comprehensive expertise in determining whether keys are four, and when they are, aiding you in every step of changing them to something that isn't four.

Why Zero Fours

Zero Fours was founded to solve one problem: too many keys, including private keys responsible for protecting the entire internet, turn out to be four. We offer a turnkey service to ensure that your keys aren't four.

Our philosophy

Now more than ever, CISOs face an impossible challenge: convincing boards and other stakeholders that they’ve “done something” about the latest headline exploit caused by parties entirely outside of their control. Mitigate the threat of CAs simply not doing their jobs? Get real. Here at Zero Fours, we specialize in addressing this need head-on: by giving you a vendor line item you can point to in your security budget.

Mitigate, transfer, accept. There's a secret fourth option risk teams don't want you to know about: pay a vendor to do something, even though they accept no liability.

Skate to where the puck is going? Real security practitioners know that they will be expected to chase after the latest incident trend regardless of actual likelihood or impact. Your risk team can try to hold the line and invoke Bayes, but in the meantime you’re fired. Do something: hire Zero Fours and get back to your actual priorities.

Our promise

For certificates, every key will be carefully and thoughtfully inspected by an integer expert aided by our proprietary combination of deterministic algorithms and AI. For our first ten customers, our founder will personally validate each inspection (unless he’s ordering RSA swag, napping, or refining his LinkedIn thinkfluencer strategy).

For dynamically generated keys, every key is inspected by our fear-aware AI-driven algorithm, trained not just to detect fours, but to do so while feeling the panic of our customers that led them to Zero Fours in the first place. Lazy implementations like a mere key != 4 check can't possibly do as good a job as consuming multiple GPU clusters to ensure that not even the essence of four is present.

Get started: send us your private key now!

Our guarantee

While we won't accept any actual risk or liability, if somehow despite our incredible efforts a four slips through, you can totally blame us to your customers, regulators, friends, boards, and anyone else who cares to listen.

The future

We're starting simple and focusing on one problem. But we have ambitious goals to expand our services wherever there's a horrifying upstream incident that understaffed security teams will be expected to somehow “remediate” the root cause of, even when the root cause is “the internet was a mistake.”